Today's the Day.

Today, about 2000 years ago, Christ was born. His birth began an amazing story of redemption and love. God's son, sent down to save wretched sinners. We could not ask for a more perfect, loving, merciful Savior.

So today while unwrapping presents with your family and friends, remember the reason that we're here. We're saved by His blood. The precious blood of Jesus. We are placed on this earth to worship and glorify Him.

I praise the Lord for my wonderful family and friends. I am so incredibly blessed by them every day and I look forward to the days and years that God gives us together.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Challenged

its Christmas time! can you believe it? only 9 short days until the biggest holiday of the year. kids everywhere will be putting cookies out for Santa, lying sleepless til the wee hours in the morning so they can see just what Santa has brought them this year. They will all be begging and convincing their parents in the next few days that they have been the best boys and girls on earth this year, just so they can get that new toy. This is what we have become. Its not necessarily wrong, right, or in between. It just IS. We have become a world that overlooks deeper meaning. Its what's on the surface, the material things, that really matter nowadays and no one really cares what you believe in or who is underneath the facade we put on in every day life. I believe that this is sad. Its sad that we have friends that don't really care about us enough to know what's going on in our lives day to day. It is disappointing that when being considered for a college, job, or relationship that it doesn't matter the caliber of person you are or your character, only your "stats" or "status." This is not to say that every person out there feels this way. I know you are thinking "I CARE" but do you really?

I've been challenged recently to redefine the way I think about caring, about how I think a true friend should look, and the kind of person I want to be. I feel like God has called me to care. He has called me to invest in other people's lives and by barely scratching the surface in my friendships I have failed. God calls us to love, to be selfless, and to be servants. I can't say that I fulfill that calling everyday, but I want to. I wish the world would become a more hopeful place than a hopeless one.

One of my close friends reminded me of a verse I found at a retreat earlier this year. It was the theme actually. Psalm 37 says "Be still and Know that I am God." Despite the shortcomings of the world and the people in it, we have HOPE in the Lord. HE is our God.

I find rest in God alone

It has been an incredibly long time since I have had time to breathe, much less blog, so I sincerely apologize to all of the 2 people that might read this. :)

These past few weeks have been crazy busy and filled with insane amounts of stress. Its finals time. Enough said right?! Wrong. Its exams combined with life and life is a mess.

So, heres what I've been learning and struggling with since the last time I wrote. God calls us to love unconditionally. He calls us to forgive, to love, and to live. I haven't been fulfilling that calling as much as I'd like to. The thing that this world doesn't realize is that PEOPLE matter. It is the people that make the world a good place. Its the people that have an influence. Passion is something that is placed deep within you. I believe that God placed that passion within us for His purpose. I have a passion for people. What do I do with that? I've struggled with that for a while. What do I do to help others? What can I do? I'm just a girl. I'm just one person. What I have realized is that God empowers His people. He gives us the ability to do His work. And if my work is to impact the world through people then He will give me the resources and opportunities to do that.

I would not have made it through this week without my friends, but especially without God. I had tests that were impossible that I think I did well on because God knows the answers. Giving it over to God is one of the hardest parts of life, but its the most rewarding.

Love you all! Christmas is 14 days away!!! :))

Its funny how plans don't ever seem to quite work out. You know you wait all week for the perfect weekend and then something comes in and ruins it? well, I'm not saying that this particular weekend is like that but I've had a lot of those recently. So I got to thinking and realized the simplest thing when I was reading the Word. Gods plan prevail. not. mine. We get so caught up in our own day to day lives and don't just stop to recognize God's glory, His grace, Love, and presence in the intricacies of the world. He is almighty and all knowing and only He knows what is best for us. And here's the kicker: God says to obey Him. Not to complain and throw a hissy fit if He doesnt give us what we want. I've been the hissy-fit-throwing-2-year-old lately and I'm sure God's getting tired of it.

All of this to say, I'm letting go of my plans as hard as that is to say because I love being in control. But God knows best. He guides me and provides for me and He has never failed me :)

time management

so i've put this blog on the back burner for a while...oops! i've had a TON going on! but now its the weekend and i can just sit and relax and even blog :) Halloween is this weekend and I'm really excited to go dress up with my friends and watch scary movies that I hate but secretly love! its going to be awesome! i'm going to Mckays on saturday to see what magnificent treasures they have there, i havent been since last semester. I love books so i'm sure i'll wind up wasting a lot of time and money, but WHO CARES? its fun! :)

My best friends birthday is today! We've known each other since we were about 2yrs old and its amazing how close we've remained. I'm so thankful for her today.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Halloween!

the past few eventful weeks

well i survived.

the past few weeks have been...well...exhausting. i've had a test in just about every class along with projects, homework, lab reports, etc. Its definitely been trying, but its FALL BREAK. i have 5 days of no school and just chilling out with my family:)

God has taught me a lot. He's taught me the importance of the people He's put in my life. He chose them each individually for different reasons and they might not stay for my whole life or even for month but the important thing is- they're there.

Thank You Lord for those people.

Tests, projects, reports, and whatever else there is thrown at me---will never break me. God is my strength.

James 1:1-4

is it really already Wednesday? seriously? where did this week go?

well, last week was simply insane. thats the only real word i can use for it that does any justice to what i was feeling, which was OVERWHELMED. this week has been 1000 times better and less stressful but not completely stress free.

I went on a retreat last weekend, where i spent several hours alone in the solitude of Christ. It was magical. I honestly thought that i would hate it because i do NOT like being alone. but I had the opportunity to organize my mind and allow God to take my troubles away from me.

I learned that if i give everything over to God and I mean EVERYTHING then i feel better. Not only better, but I can trust and rest in the fact that HE has a magnificent plan :)

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

Sinking....

I'm incredibly overwhelmed these days.

I've never felt so stressed, over worked, under appreciated, or sleep deprived.

Its insane.

I know God will carry me through, but its just so hard to trust. I have problems right here and right now, that I want an immediate answer to. I know I have to trust Him because that's the only place that I'll find rest and peace. So here's my prayer-- God of the Universe, Creator, Savior, Father, Friend, please deliver me through this time of trouble. As it says in Isaiah 43, You will not let me be burned by the fire and the waters will not overwhelm me when i'm with You. Guide me through these next few days, as I know you will, but just take over for me. I can NOT do it. I am a weak human and cannot do anything of my own accord. You created the universe, no organic chemistry test or genetics exam will phase you. You know all things. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Its you in me, God. Thank you so much for Your unending love and mercy. I love you Lord. You are my stronghold in times of trouble. No other can calm me like you. You are my Father. Amen.

Stress of this world will always be present but God will take your burdens if only you let him. Psalm 55:22- Cast your burdens on the Lord and he will sustain you.

treausre

coming back to nashville this weekend i was thinking and listening to music, just kind of reveling in the beauty of the drive. its such a magnificent drive with all of the hills and trees.

anyways, i was driving and listening to some music, some christian and some not. while i was listening, i heard some lyrics that i dont even remember what song they came from, but it was talking about how WE are God's treasure. it took a little while for that to sink in. You mean to say, that I am His treasure?!?!?! ME--a dirty, rotten sinner, not worthy of God's gaze much less His love. Its a concept not too foreign for me, I mean I've been in sunday school and church where they briefly mention God's love for us through saying that God sent His Son to die for us so that we are saved. Such a beautiful picture of sacrificial love, yet it gets overlooked because of its common use. When thinking about being God's treasure, i started to wonder- WHY? why does He want me? Im no where good enough. I mess up every day. I fall short every minute. But then, the sunday school teaching kicked in. When Christ died on the cross for our sins, His blood covered every past sin, every present sin, and every new sin. When God looks in His book, He will not be able to see that on September 7, 2010 I screwed up 11000 times. He'll only see His absolutely perfect and blameless Son because I've accepted the invitation to follow Christ. This does NOT give me a get out of jail free card by any means. I still have to ask for forgiveness and I try my best to lead a righteous life worthy of Christ, but before I even get out of bed I know that it is not possible. I CAN however, accept that God in His infinite love for me and for His Son, WILL forgive me. His mercy is never ending. His love is never failing. His GRACE is everlasting. And that is why on my ride home yesterday I fell in love with my Savior all over again. He's my Father, my Redeemer, my Joy, and my Peace.

We find Peace when we rest in God alone.

20 years later.....

in 18 minutes i'll be 2o years old.

OMG.

IM OLD.

looking back on the last 20 years i've had only a few constants in my life.

God, family, and friends.

it doesnt matter where i am or what i'm doing. they'll be there to support me and cheer me on.

so while i'm celebrating my sweet 20 years of life and still feeling like a sprite 16 year old that just got my VW bug at the Marriott in Birmingham, I'll be thinking of all the wonderful people who have brought me to this grand stage of life. Where i might trip and fall, but shoot what's the fun in being perfect.

Good night world, next time i'll see you i will be 20! :)))

an ode to the end and a cheer to the beginning

Welcome week for our freshmen is almost over...I have met so many new and old students. The experience of being a TT leader is one that I will never forget nor that i regret. I am incredibly excited to begin my sophomore year at a such an amazing school. I've found through this week that God has placed me exactly where I want to be and need to be. Belmont would NOT have been my answer if you asked me three years ago where I was going to end up for college. It is so cool to see how God has shaped my life. Last year when I was going through orientation before school, i was so lost and scared. I would never have thought that I would be a Towering Traditions leader, or an SLA. I didnt think that I had it in me to lead but I found out by being at Belmont that a leader doesnt have to be a perfect person or an outgoing person. A leader is a servant. We are serving the people that are following us. We have to lead by example. I cannot wait to see what's going to happen this year. This first week and a half have been amazing so I dont know how you can top that! :) Classes start tomorrow! I'm so excited to have some classes with old friends and to meet many more.

God, Thank you so much for showing me my place. Please continue to show me where I am supposed to go to follow You.

new definition of tired.

This week has reshaped my definition of the word 'tired.' Normally I would get really tired after doing just about nothing. This could be anything from going to class, watching tv, hanging out with friends, etc. But this week has definitely been different. I've gotten up earlier and gone to sleep later than I have all summer. I've made more friends and preformed more physical labor than I have in a long time. Despite all this, I've had one of the best weeks ever! I have absolutely loved it. I never realized how much I love my school and everyone that attends it. Belmont is so great and the people form a true community (we've heard that word about a billion times this week :) ) Although I cannot feel any part of my body right now and it ACHES like never before, I cannot wait for the next few days to get here! It's going to be an amazing week!

My God is an Awesome God.

Without going into much detail about my insanely long and tiring week, i just wanted to say that i would not be standing here right now if it were not for my AWESOME God. He is my strength and my Rock. He is who i turn to when i'm lonely, he carries me in times of trouble, and guides me through the narrow pathways of life. Today we did something pretty scary. It was the "cross the line if.." game, kind of like the one in the MTV reality show "If you really knew me." It was incredibly. I was astounded. It scared me and made me nervous to become so vulnerable in front of all of my peers and friends but in the end it brought us all closer together. I see now more than ever that I am NOT alone. There are many many people out there struggling with the same exact things as I am. Even if their struggles are different than mine, it is something that I had no idea of before today. God is moving at Belmont University and around the world and I cannot wait to see the rest of this week, month, year unfold!

Praise the Lord for His unfailing love.

so here i am.

all moved in.

its kinda surreal. like when did i leave? has summer already passed? i'm a SOPHOMORE? woah.

campus is slow because only certain groups have moved in. I start training tomorrow and i'm a little nervous. but i know that its all gonna be so great. God has a perfect plan even if it doesnt seem perfect at first :) I'm so excited about this year. I know i know, i've already said that so many other times but its so true! While i'm so excited, i'm really sad too....I already miss my family and its only DAY 1. haha i know thats sad, but i love them! well i have to get up earlier than i have all summer to go to training but its going to be awesome! i cant wait to meet new people. yay for orientation! i cant wait to see my incoming freshmen! too bad i have a week of training before that!

cant wait to see what these days hold :)

ezekiel 36:26 " I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

I have searched- i'm talking been on my hands and knees searching-- for this very verse ALL week. do you know where i found it? on someone else's blog, via twitter! God uses everything for His good. This verse speaks to me in all sorts of ways. Its beautiful. it's a promise of a new beginning despite what you have drudged through to get to God. With the truth of this verse, you can shed all of your baggage and burdens, God will take them and make you a BRAND NEW person. How amazing?

With the beginning of the new school year coming up, I have a few goals.

1. Be a good friend to people who arent good friends themselves. Treat others like you want to be treated- i try, but do not often succeed at this.

2. Spread God's word. I want to share His love with others, and i bet i've often turned down the opportunities i've been given. I pray that I won't overlook even the smallest of chances this year.

3. No matter what happens, keep a positive attitude. That is definitely one that I struggle with often. Everything for God's glory, good bad or otherwise

So moving on, I have 2 more days at home before I go back to good ole college where I will be-- GASP-- a sophomore. can you believe it? Time has flown by and I am getting old. I'm waiting patiently for my grey hair and wrinkles. Having only a few days left I am spending much needed time with friends and family. I love them so much and I am so blessed to have each and every one of them in my life. :) I painted with one of my close friends today and was so sad when I had to leave her :( i'm going to miss her this fall! Its so sad to leave people behind but I have so many things to look forward to. I cannot wait to see God's plan unfold for this year! Yesterday was my last day as a volunteer at Children's Hospital. I have absolutely adored spending time there. Those kids are precious to me and will always hold a piece of my heart. God has definitely confirmed that I am supposed to be working with terminally ill children. One little boy gave me the sweetest picture. I cannot wait to work somewhere like that full time. It definitely gave me a glimpse of the future and something to look forward to. A childs smile is the best gift in the world.

Love yall! I cant wait to move on Sunday!!

5days5days5days!!!

I cannot believe that move in day is 5 days away. i have so much to do, so much to pack, get, clean! ahh! its so overwhelming! i'm insanely stressed. I handled some stuff really badly because of being so stressed out. I let it get to me and instead of giving God my worries and concerns, stress, etc. I failed and let the world get to me. FORGIVE me, Lord, help those i've hurt forgive me. just another reminder that I am nowhere near perfect. Thank God for giving me great friends and family to keep me grounded and keep me in check :)

yesterday at church we talked about Psalm 56. It says that God collects your tears and bottles them. Seriously, God cares enough for me to BOTTLE my TEARS! WOAH. thats amazing. i'm stunned. i'm worthless and a terrible sinner, yet God loves me so much that he collects my tears. He knows whats on my heart and what is hurting me. His wonderful love is astonishing to me. We also talked about Zephaniah 3:17 and the book of Nahum. Well, I haven't ever really paid that much attention to either of those books, but they are great! Zeph. 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

This is awesome. God rejoices over me with singing. Really? me? what? he wants me? thats crazy! I'm so thankful that God wants me. That He loves me so much. Then, the book of Nahum talks about God as a warrior. So not only does He collect my tears & rejoice over me with singing, but He fights for me! He destroyed all evil!

If God is for me, who can be against me? What a wonderful revelation!

So close but not yet

I have a mere 11 days left until i go back to school. it feels like this summer lasted a lifetime, but at the same time flew by! My summer classes are almost over--Thank God. but with that, my volunteering is ending too. I've spent 13 days over the summer and 4-5 hours a day with the wonderful people at childrens hospital. i loved every minute of it no matter how stressful or boring it got at times. I think that is definitely the highlight of my summer. Hopefully i'll be able to volunteer again next summer or even somewhere in nashville once i get back.

Well, sunday i went to church for the first time in a looonnnggg time. you know you just start making those excuses of "i'm too tired," "I didn't read what we're learning about today so i'll be behind," "i just got back from vacation," etc. In reality, i just talk myself out of it and i'm being really lazy. Going this weekend was great. The message really spoke to me and made me regret being so lazy. He talked about how Jesus' stripes redeemed us. He said that the cross was not for our sake alone, it was for God's sake. I am a guilty, ugly, mean sinner, but because God sent his Son to die on the cross for me, I am saved. God hates sin. He HATES it. The Bible talks about His loathing of sin. If i sin, and God hates sin, then God hates me because of my sin. But because Jesus died on the cross, took my sin, and paid for it, God does not see me as a ugly, nasty sinner. He sees me as His precious daughter. How marvelous is this thought? How beautiful is God's mercy?

Thank you Lord for everything you have given me. I definitely could not do anything on my own. Through YOU i can do all things.

Love your daughter.

here's to some endings and some grand new beginnings...

Well, the time has come. it about 2 1/2 weeks until i move back to my good ole college dorm room and begin the adventures of freshman orientation and my own sophomore year. Its what i've been anticipating all summer long, however, it is a bittersweet ending to a beautiful summer. I have had a few adventures, nothing too extravagant, but fun none the less. I've rekindled old friendships and found treasures among the ruins of what used to be. The memories that i've made this summer will last forever, and i believe that the past 3 months have helped shaped me into the woman i am slowly but surely becoming. There is a quote by Michaelangelo that one of my facebook friends posted the other day that says "I saw the angel in the marble, and i carved until i set her free." I think that this quote quite accurately describes my life thus far. I definitely have my imperfections and my extra baggage, but through time, prayer, and soul searching, God is showing me the person He wants me to become.

On another note, these past 3 weeks, my stepbrother has been in town with us. We had such a great time and I already miss him. We never get to spend that much time all together because we're separated by several states. Reflecting back on these weeks, i see the family that God has blessed me with. It was an extremely disguised blessing, seeing as i would never wish to relive through my parents getting a divorce, go through the life struggles that i have been through, or any of the other baggage that comes from being part of a "dysfunctional" or abnormal family. I've realized that it is because of these abnormalities and circumstances that I have the wisdom and maturity that i have now. I have a rare clarity about life because of what i've been through in my -GULP- almost 20 years (yeah i cant believe i'm a month away from not being a teen anymore). We spent a family weekend at the beach this past weekend and i have never laughed so much with my family. While, i was at the beach i got to see two of my best friends who are down on a summer missions trip. It was so good to see them!!! Man, only 2 1/2 weeks left of summer then my sophomore year starts....where does time go? I dont know, but i love the memories that it leaves behind.

Summer nights

well tonight was a blast from the past. it felt just like i was in high school again. ok, maybe not JUST like it, but definitely similar. and it was just the good part. it was the hanging out in the parking lots, playing random games, eating m&m's, making fun of each other kind of night. it was the perfect remedy for what i've been going through. meeting up with old friends and getting to know them again was refreshing. some of them have changed so much its weird and others are just their old silly selves that i'll always remember. i think change is good. change is positive. how can we get closer to God without changing from our old selves? we have to become our new selves in Christ and that requires CHANGE. for some people it requires lots of change, for others only a few slight ones.

God continues to show me things through my summer at home. He has revealed himself as a provider, Father, Savior, and most of all Friend. I still don't trust Him completely like i know i should, but i've gotten better. He challenged me this week with that. but i think i'm getting the point.

When God tests you and gives you trials, you have to know that He won't give you more than you can bear. and with that you have to LET GO AND LET GOD.

thats the hardest lesson of life. but if you can do it, then you're home free.

goodnight world.

i love you, and hope your night was as enlightening as mine. :)

Today was my "little" brothers birthday. When i say little i'm referring to a 5' 9" 150lbs. boy who looks like a linebacker--actually he is one. He turned 14. 14?! I cannot believe how old he's gotten. its insane! Time goes by so quickly, even though each day seems long, and the hours seem longer. I'll be 20 in a few months. Are you kidding me?! I'm not a teenager anymore?! What happened to being 16? I never thought i'd get older. but now i'm in college, and i'm about to be half of 40. i actually teared up earlier today when that was brought to my attention, however embarrassed i am to admit. :)

On another note-

I've been wondering: Why am I always the bigger person? No matter if its in actual size or in theory of being more mature than another person. I'm always that person. I think it might be someone else's turn now. I guess it says something about my character that i'm always the bigger, more mature person. But at some point you just wanna say "Life's not fair!" and get a do over or something.

oh well. that's life and i guess i'll learn from it? :) Let go and let God.

this is the day that the LORD has made

Man, this week has been amazing. not because i was somewhere exotic or relaxing or even different. I was at home, living my normal, boring, life. and BAM God presented me with little presents that made me feel like I was in Heaven. It was just awesome how things fell into place when I thought there was no hope of it. He completely worked every little detail out. Its proof that what i'm doing this summer is His plan and He is using every moment of every day to show me my ultimate purpose. I'm loving every minute of it.

My life will never be perfect- lets face it-perfect is BORING. but my life will always be orchestrated, God will always make every bad thing turn into something wonderful for His purpose.

That is my purpose--to further His kingdom. So, i'll do whatever I can to fulfill that purpose, not that I wont mess up because I do mess up. everyday.

Thank the Lord for everything He's blessed me with this week, year, and lifetime. I'm looking forward to seeing what He has in store for this next year.

God has a plan. and He shows it!

today started out rough.

first of all, i didnt go to bed until 3:30am because i just couldnt sleep. i have no idea why i couldnt, but it was so frustrating.

second, i had a sociology test. its not a hard class, but the teacher is not the best. oh well i made an A on it so i'm not complaining. it was just a regular day full of annoyances.

oh and there was a realllyyyy long line at McDonalds when i went to get my much need diet coke fix.

while waiting an hour for my next class to start, i decided to check my email. man, who knew such a simple task could make your day get so much better?

i found out that i got selected to do something with school that i had interviewed for this spring. i am so excited!

well, then i had speech class, worked out, and got home. it was pretty much a normal day, but for me it was SO much more than that.

God has completely shown me His plan for my life, if only for just the next two semesters. I love when i get those glimpses of Him and what He wants my life to be. It makes me go into overdrive and strive for the best for Him. i feel invincible (thats not necessarily good i dont guess ha) but like God is putting together the pieces of my life.

He has blessed me with an amazing school filled with wonderful people, the best friends i could ever ask for, and best of all a magnificent family.

Its days like these that make me eternally grateful for how blessed I am. Praise God for this is the day that the Lord has made! i hope you all had a day like mine, and if you didnt, yours is coming soon :)

man oh man. only about a month until i move back into school. i cannot believe how fast the time flies by! i have had an amazing summer even though i've just stayed home most of the time. i've reconnected with old friends and had some great times, made some great dorm room decorations, taken two summer classes and met some very colorful people, volunteered at childrens hospital (which is the best part of my summer i'd say), road tripped to chattanooga with my mom to see a college buddy, gone to columbia TN to see another one, and i went to lake chickamaugua in TN for the 4th with some amazing belmont friends! this summer has been awesome but i cannot wait until fall! i feel like God has alot of great stuff in store and im anxious to see it unfold.

July 8

Today is my hero's birthday. The woman that shaped who i am today. The woman who taught me everything i know about God, patience, love, and loyalty. She was my best friend, my mentor, and my confidant. I could tell her anything and knew that it was safe in her vault. She was my rock and my comforter. A coke float maker, baker, and cook extraordinaire. In my entire life, I have never met anyone as sweet, kind, gentle, soft spoke, feisty, or godly. Kathryn Crump was not only my grandmother but a friend, like none other. I miss her with every fiber of my being. The hole that was left in my heart is too big for words. YET, i know whose company she keeps and whose arms she is held in. I know that she is singing and dancing for Jesus unlike we ever witnessed her doing on Earth in her shy manner. I know that she is with Papaw and Aunt Hazel, her momma, daddy, sister, and brothers. She is happier than she ever was on Earth, and there is no more pain or tears for her. This does not keep me from missing her and Papaw, though. They will always be with me. They watch over me every day. Sometimes i talk to them--not like a crazy person, but just like a prayer. I tell them what is going on in my life, it helps me feel connected. Although i weep inside i know that it does me no good to mourn anymore. One day soon i will be reunited with them, but until then i will see them in every day of my life. I thank God every day for blessing me with them for even the short time i had with them.

realizations...

the past two weeks have been long but they've flown by. is that redundant? anyone know what i'm talking about? it seems like august will never get here and while i hope it comes quickly, i hope it doesnt at the same time. i like being home with my family but i need my friends and my college home. i miss who i am when i'm with them. i fit there.

God has been doing a lot in my life here though. He's shown me who my real friends are and who I can count on. He has given me glimpses of my loved ones who are no longer with me on this earth, but who are praising him for eternity. I love those moments when i know that they are watching me. I wish so much that i could share my life with them and all of the things that have happened since they've been gone, but i know that somehow they know.

This is the first time in my life that I have been content. Yeah, i still have my wants and my desires for a change now and then, but for the most part (about 85% of the time) I am completely content with just living out each day and seeing what happens. I dont feel like i need a plan anymore. I know that God is going to put the pieces together and since He created the pieces, who better to lay them in place? If i heed His word and "do not worry about anything" then i'll be alright.

I havent listened to Him all summer though. In the beginning i was restless and needy. I was like the kid in the candy store that wont leave their mom alone about getting the candy bar that the mom wont let them have. I was tugging on His pants and hanging onto his legs kicking and screaming for Him to change His mind about how my summer--my life--would turn out.

Little did I know, in my human mind, that this was the way that was best. any other way and i wouldnt be the same woman i am today. i wouldnt find joy in seeing a clear sky or a bird chirping. God has truly worked in my life in the best way possible and though i didnt want it, He knew what He was doing.

I havent felt as close to God this summer as I was while i was in Nashville. and i cant put my finger on it. maybe its because of my struggles or because my friends are scattered throughout the nation. i dont really know. i all i know is that i miss feeling His presence like I did there. I think it has to do with the transition of being on my own to being home. At home i feel like all i need is my family because i'm technically not on my own any more, but really i need Him the same amount or more.

Well thats about all i've got for tonight. I'm tired and I'm going to the gym early in the morning. trying to lose weight before i go to the lake :) I cant believe that summer is halfway over. hello sophomore year!

long long time ago

so i started this blog a while back. actually it was almost a whole year ago! wow i cannot believe that my freshman year of college has ended and my sophomore year is about to start. What God has accomplished in my life has been such a blessing. He has placed some amazing people into my life through college and I am so grateful for each and every one of them. I met some of my best friends this year and God has shown me that through knowing Him and talking about Him to people, you grow in your relationships. College was quite a transition in my life but it was so glorious. I had an absolutely fabulous year in every aspect. Yes, there were some hard times but the good times greatly outweighed them.

Now I'm back. It is bittersweet. I am so thankful to home with my family for the summer. There's still two months left of summer. It seems like summer will never last some days and others like it will last forever.

I cant wait to see what God shows me this summer :)