here's to some endings and some grand new beginnings...

Well, the time has come. it about 2 1/2 weeks until i move back to my good ole college dorm room and begin the adventures of freshman orientation and my own sophomore year. Its what i've been anticipating all summer long, however, it is a bittersweet ending to a beautiful summer. I have had a few adventures, nothing too extravagant, but fun none the less. I've rekindled old friendships and found treasures among the ruins of what used to be. The memories that i've made this summer will last forever, and i believe that the past 3 months have helped shaped me into the woman i am slowly but surely becoming. There is a quote by Michaelangelo that one of my facebook friends posted the other day that says "I saw the angel in the marble, and i carved until i set her free." I think that this quote quite accurately describes my life thus far. I definitely have my imperfections and my extra baggage, but through time, prayer, and soul searching, God is showing me the person He wants me to become.

On another note, these past 3 weeks, my stepbrother has been in town with us. We had such a great time and I already miss him. We never get to spend that much time all together because we're separated by several states. Reflecting back on these weeks, i see the family that God has blessed me with. It was an extremely disguised blessing, seeing as i would never wish to relive through my parents getting a divorce, go through the life struggles that i have been through, or any of the other baggage that comes from being part of a "dysfunctional" or abnormal family. I've realized that it is because of these abnormalities and circumstances that I have the wisdom and maturity that i have now. I have a rare clarity about life because of what i've been through in my -GULP- almost 20 years (yeah i cant believe i'm a month away from not being a teen anymore). We spent a family weekend at the beach this past weekend and i have never laughed so much with my family. While, i was at the beach i got to see two of my best friends who are down on a summer missions trip. It was so good to see them!!! Man, only 2 1/2 weeks left of summer then my sophomore year starts....where does time go? I dont know, but i love the memories that it leaves behind.

Summer nights

well tonight was a blast from the past. it felt just like i was in high school again. ok, maybe not JUST like it, but definitely similar. and it was just the good part. it was the hanging out in the parking lots, playing random games, eating m&m's, making fun of each other kind of night. it was the perfect remedy for what i've been going through. meeting up with old friends and getting to know them again was refreshing. some of them have changed so much its weird and others are just their old silly selves that i'll always remember. i think change is good. change is positive. how can we get closer to God without changing from our old selves? we have to become our new selves in Christ and that requires CHANGE. for some people it requires lots of change, for others only a few slight ones.

God continues to show me things through my summer at home. He has revealed himself as a provider, Father, Savior, and most of all Friend. I still don't trust Him completely like i know i should, but i've gotten better. He challenged me this week with that. but i think i'm getting the point.

When God tests you and gives you trials, you have to know that He won't give you more than you can bear. and with that you have to LET GO AND LET GOD.

thats the hardest lesson of life. but if you can do it, then you're home free.

goodnight world.

i love you, and hope your night was as enlightening as mine. :)

Today was my "little" brothers birthday. When i say little i'm referring to a 5' 9" 150lbs. boy who looks like a linebacker--actually he is one. He turned 14. 14?! I cannot believe how old he's gotten. its insane! Time goes by so quickly, even though each day seems long, and the hours seem longer. I'll be 20 in a few months. Are you kidding me?! I'm not a teenager anymore?! What happened to being 16? I never thought i'd get older. but now i'm in college, and i'm about to be half of 40. i actually teared up earlier today when that was brought to my attention, however embarrassed i am to admit. :)

On another note-

I've been wondering: Why am I always the bigger person? No matter if its in actual size or in theory of being more mature than another person. I'm always that person. I think it might be someone else's turn now. I guess it says something about my character that i'm always the bigger, more mature person. But at some point you just wanna say "Life's not fair!" and get a do over or something.

oh well. that's life and i guess i'll learn from it? :) Let go and let God.

this is the day that the LORD has made

Man, this week has been amazing. not because i was somewhere exotic or relaxing or even different. I was at home, living my normal, boring, life. and BAM God presented me with little presents that made me feel like I was in Heaven. It was just awesome how things fell into place when I thought there was no hope of it. He completely worked every little detail out. Its proof that what i'm doing this summer is His plan and He is using every moment of every day to show me my ultimate purpose. I'm loving every minute of it.

My life will never be perfect- lets face it-perfect is BORING. but my life will always be orchestrated, God will always make every bad thing turn into something wonderful for His purpose.

That is my purpose--to further His kingdom. So, i'll do whatever I can to fulfill that purpose, not that I wont mess up because I do mess up. everyday.

Thank the Lord for everything He's blessed me with this week, year, and lifetime. I'm looking forward to seeing what He has in store for this next year.

God has a plan. and He shows it!

today started out rough.

first of all, i didnt go to bed until 3:30am because i just couldnt sleep. i have no idea why i couldnt, but it was so frustrating.

second, i had a sociology test. its not a hard class, but the teacher is not the best. oh well i made an A on it so i'm not complaining. it was just a regular day full of annoyances.

oh and there was a realllyyyy long line at McDonalds when i went to get my much need diet coke fix.

while waiting an hour for my next class to start, i decided to check my email. man, who knew such a simple task could make your day get so much better?

i found out that i got selected to do something with school that i had interviewed for this spring. i am so excited!

well, then i had speech class, worked out, and got home. it was pretty much a normal day, but for me it was SO much more than that.

God has completely shown me His plan for my life, if only for just the next two semesters. I love when i get those glimpses of Him and what He wants my life to be. It makes me go into overdrive and strive for the best for Him. i feel invincible (thats not necessarily good i dont guess ha) but like God is putting together the pieces of my life.

He has blessed me with an amazing school filled with wonderful people, the best friends i could ever ask for, and best of all a magnificent family.

Its days like these that make me eternally grateful for how blessed I am. Praise God for this is the day that the Lord has made! i hope you all had a day like mine, and if you didnt, yours is coming soon :)

man oh man. only about a month until i move back into school. i cannot believe how fast the time flies by! i have had an amazing summer even though i've just stayed home most of the time. i've reconnected with old friends and had some great times, made some great dorm room decorations, taken two summer classes and met some very colorful people, volunteered at childrens hospital (which is the best part of my summer i'd say), road tripped to chattanooga with my mom to see a college buddy, gone to columbia TN to see another one, and i went to lake chickamaugua in TN for the 4th with some amazing belmont friends! this summer has been awesome but i cannot wait until fall! i feel like God has alot of great stuff in store and im anxious to see it unfold.

July 8

Today is my hero's birthday. The woman that shaped who i am today. The woman who taught me everything i know about God, patience, love, and loyalty. She was my best friend, my mentor, and my confidant. I could tell her anything and knew that it was safe in her vault. She was my rock and my comforter. A coke float maker, baker, and cook extraordinaire. In my entire life, I have never met anyone as sweet, kind, gentle, soft spoke, feisty, or godly. Kathryn Crump was not only my grandmother but a friend, like none other. I miss her with every fiber of my being. The hole that was left in my heart is too big for words. YET, i know whose company she keeps and whose arms she is held in. I know that she is singing and dancing for Jesus unlike we ever witnessed her doing on Earth in her shy manner. I know that she is with Papaw and Aunt Hazel, her momma, daddy, sister, and brothers. She is happier than she ever was on Earth, and there is no more pain or tears for her. This does not keep me from missing her and Papaw, though. They will always be with me. They watch over me every day. Sometimes i talk to them--not like a crazy person, but just like a prayer. I tell them what is going on in my life, it helps me feel connected. Although i weep inside i know that it does me no good to mourn anymore. One day soon i will be reunited with them, but until then i will see them in every day of my life. I thank God every day for blessing me with them for even the short time i had with them.