some brave soul goes to a sleeping Jesus and wakes him up screaming something loosely translated "Jesus - are you kidding me?! How can you be sleeping while we are about to capsize? We're gonna die! Do something!"
Jesus casually and calmly wakes up, without a word until He puts His hand up & says "Be still." He then says "Do you have no faith? Did I not tell you we would cross to the other side?" (Jesus was a whole lot nicer than I would've been if someone had woken me up from such a sleep - especially since they weren't trusting and resting in the power and sovereignty of God who was with them in the ship!)
This is me the majority of the time. I'm a worrier and a thinker; I need a plan. Pride gets the best of me this way. As humans don't we always think that the world revolves around us? That our problems are the end of the world & are bigger than anything anyone else has or will experience? Or how about our plans? We think that we know best - if God would just give us that one thing, then we would have it made. I think that I have some sort of control over what happens, but really - what God plans is the best plan and it will happen regardless of my comfort, peace, or approval.
God is really cool in this way though. When we start to pray that our plan becomes His plan, He brings our will into alignment with His will. Sometimes He evens gives us a glimpse of what is ahead and how everything is working together in the big scheme of things. God may never give us those glimpses, they might be rare - few and far between. We are but mere 'vapors in the wind.' We are each just a part of the story of the growth and prosperity of His Kingdom with the goal of glorifying God.
Almost 1 year ago, I graduated from college and embarked on a new journey. I wasn't very excited about where I was headed. I was bitter and if I'm brutally honest, I was sulking. God hadn't given me what I (thought) I wanted - medical school or graduate school in a new adventurous city. God shut a door and I acted excited but I was disappointed. I was one of the disciples in the boat - "God, REALLY?! are you kidding?! I'm not going to make it there? I will hate it! I have to leave everyone I know - I'll be alone! Do you want that for me?! Hello!"-- I was whining - and I whined for a while, y'all.
But, after a few solid weeks of crying myself to sleep, filling my days with mindless activities, and cleaning, I began to see the reason God shut the door I had wanted most. First, it was my family - they mean the world to me and being here means I get to enjoy them. Then, I was blessed with a dream job - an amazing opportunity to work next to my mentor, friend, and gain another mentor/second mother. I couldn't ask for a better work family; they support me, laugh with me, and push me to reach my goals. (things are looking up right?) I got involved in a great small group of encouraging, godly, single women. God has truly blessed me most through these women's love and friendship.
Lastly, I started graduate school for my Masters in Public Health and I found out why God closed those other doors. He showed me my passions and my sense of belonging - in the midst of experiencing extreme loneliness. Recently, I accepted an internship I never thought would be possible. It is focusing on global public health in researching human papillomavirus (HPV) and cervical cancer in refugee women from Nepal. And I will be here - with my family, keeping my job, staying with my church & my small group, and getting to graduate on time - God provides by His grace and mercy.
You see, I was in the midst of the 'storm of life' and I was questioning God's presence in that storm. But He was there the whole time - orchestrating each 'wave' for His glory and ultimately my good.
The Lord provides even when we don't see Him. Keep the faith even when it's hard, y'all. God is good.
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