Identity Crisis

Lately, I've looked like this. A lot. 

Unfortunately not for the same reasons - these were "I-want-to-stay-here-forever" tears. 

No, this week has been "Are-you-kidding-me-I-cant-believe-this-is-happening" tears.

But, it doesn't matter the cause of them, their healing is solely completed in Christ's perfect love. 

The knowledge that He is sovereign, and His plan is absolutely flawless. 

Almost 2 years ago, when this photo was taken, I was in Costa Rica. This is the country that God chose to develop my sense of purpose, realize my passion for people, and cultivate a life a service. Now, my life goals pretty much completely changed, and my heart softened and attuned to His desires, I am pursuing global health, public health, and how this all fits in sharing the gospel. 

Inevitably though, somewhere along the way, I always get comfortable. Either I'm comfortable in my location and surroundings, friend group, home, or my faith (the most dangerous of all). 

This is where I've been - Comfortable. 

Although, its not the comfortable you think of, you know "snuggled in bed with a good book by the fire." 

No. Its the "I'm invincible, nothing can get in my way, I don't need anyone for anything" kind.

The dangerous kind. 

Often as Christians, we think that it's ok to be comfortable - but this is such a bold faced lie. 

We've been going through 1 & 2 Corinthians at church, and Paul is one of the best examples of this. He lives such a truly Christ-like, servant life, yet he suffers many hardships. He is persecuted, unappreciated, alone (single), and has a "thorn" God will not remove. One of the most obedient men in the Bible and he suffers. In fact, 2 Corinthians 4 is about that suffering. 

It is a guarantee.

There are many other examples in the Bible - Job, Ruth, Abraham - all suffered. 

So, this week as I've suffered with things such as grades, relationships, and loneliness, God has pointed me to these people. My pastor said it best on Sunday - "Your identity is not found in relationship status, employment, achievements, performance, job title, salary, the world. You are defined by Christ, as a Christian." 

Hallelujah. 

Tonight - I rejoice in my identity as a daughter of the true King. 

2 Corinthians 4:13-19

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak,14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Psalm 34:17-18

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles. 
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.