Identity Crisis

Lately, I've looked like this. A lot. 

Unfortunately not for the same reasons - these were "I-want-to-stay-here-forever" tears. 

No, this week has been "Are-you-kidding-me-I-cant-believe-this-is-happening" tears.

But, it doesn't matter the cause of them, their healing is solely completed in Christ's perfect love. 

The knowledge that He is sovereign, and His plan is absolutely flawless. 

Almost 2 years ago, when this photo was taken, I was in Costa Rica. This is the country that God chose to develop my sense of purpose, realize my passion for people, and cultivate a life a service. Now, my life goals pretty much completely changed, and my heart softened and attuned to His desires, I am pursuing global health, public health, and how this all fits in sharing the gospel. 

Inevitably though, somewhere along the way, I always get comfortable. Either I'm comfortable in my location and surroundings, friend group, home, or my faith (the most dangerous of all). 

This is where I've been - Comfortable. 

Although, its not the comfortable you think of, you know "snuggled in bed with a good book by the fire." 

No. Its the "I'm invincible, nothing can get in my way, I don't need anyone for anything" kind.

The dangerous kind. 

Often as Christians, we think that it's ok to be comfortable - but this is such a bold faced lie. 

We've been going through 1 & 2 Corinthians at church, and Paul is one of the best examples of this. He lives such a truly Christ-like, servant life, yet he suffers many hardships. He is persecuted, unappreciated, alone (single), and has a "thorn" God will not remove. One of the most obedient men in the Bible and he suffers. In fact, 2 Corinthians 4 is about that suffering. 

It is a guarantee.

There are many other examples in the Bible - Job, Ruth, Abraham - all suffered. 

So, this week as I've suffered with things such as grades, relationships, and loneliness, God has pointed me to these people. My pastor said it best on Sunday - "Your identity is not found in relationship status, employment, achievements, performance, job title, salary, the world. You are defined by Christ, as a Christian." 

Hallelujah. 

Tonight - I rejoice in my identity as a daughter of the true King. 

2 Corinthians 4:13-19

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak,14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Psalm 34:17-18

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles. 
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Complete in Christ.

I, like many women out there, struggle with being known, with being loved, with being wanted. The world teaches us that we aren't complete unless we belong to someone else, unless we're in a relationship, unless we're independent business women or doctors or lawyers that don't need a man, or unless we're mothers. I'm none of those things. I'm single, a graduate student, and completely complete in who I am in Christ.

So, when you struggle with being known, walk confidently in the fact that God created you, He knows you, He wants you, and He loves you more than anyone on this earth ever could. He has a purpose for you and created you for such a time as this. Strive to be His obedient daughter, and He will provide.


Proverbs 31

The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:

2 What are you doing, my son?[a] What are you doing, son of my womb?
    What are you doing, son of my vows?
3 Do not give your strength to women,
    your ways to those who destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    or for rulers to take strong drink,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed
    and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing,
    and wine to those in bitter distress;[b]
7 let them drink and forget their poverty
    and remember their misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the mute,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.[c]
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

^10 [d] An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
¹⁴ She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She dresses herself^[e] with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰ She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.^[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.