20 years later.....

in 18 minutes i'll be 2o years old.

OMG.

IM OLD.

looking back on the last 20 years i've had only a few constants in my life.

God, family, and friends.

it doesnt matter where i am or what i'm doing. they'll be there to support me and cheer me on.

so while i'm celebrating my sweet 20 years of life and still feeling like a sprite 16 year old that just got my VW bug at the Marriott in Birmingham, I'll be thinking of all the wonderful people who have brought me to this grand stage of life. Where i might trip and fall, but shoot what's the fun in being perfect.

Good night world, next time i'll see you i will be 20! :)))

an ode to the end and a cheer to the beginning

Welcome week for our freshmen is almost over...I have met so many new and old students. The experience of being a TT leader is one that I will never forget nor that i regret. I am incredibly excited to begin my sophomore year at a such an amazing school. I've found through this week that God has placed me exactly where I want to be and need to be. Belmont would NOT have been my answer if you asked me three years ago where I was going to end up for college. It is so cool to see how God has shaped my life. Last year when I was going through orientation before school, i was so lost and scared. I would never have thought that I would be a Towering Traditions leader, or an SLA. I didnt think that I had it in me to lead but I found out by being at Belmont that a leader doesnt have to be a perfect person or an outgoing person. A leader is a servant. We are serving the people that are following us. We have to lead by example. I cannot wait to see what's going to happen this year. This first week and a half have been amazing so I dont know how you can top that! :) Classes start tomorrow! I'm so excited to have some classes with old friends and to meet many more.

God, Thank you so much for showing me my place. Please continue to show me where I am supposed to go to follow You.

new definition of tired.

This week has reshaped my definition of the word 'tired.' Normally I would get really tired after doing just about nothing. This could be anything from going to class, watching tv, hanging out with friends, etc. But this week has definitely been different. I've gotten up earlier and gone to sleep later than I have all summer. I've made more friends and preformed more physical labor than I have in a long time. Despite all this, I've had one of the best weeks ever! I have absolutely loved it. I never realized how much I love my school and everyone that attends it. Belmont is so great and the people form a true community (we've heard that word about a billion times this week :) ) Although I cannot feel any part of my body right now and it ACHES like never before, I cannot wait for the next few days to get here! It's going to be an amazing week!

My God is an Awesome God.

Without going into much detail about my insanely long and tiring week, i just wanted to say that i would not be standing here right now if it were not for my AWESOME God. He is my strength and my Rock. He is who i turn to when i'm lonely, he carries me in times of trouble, and guides me through the narrow pathways of life. Today we did something pretty scary. It was the "cross the line if.." game, kind of like the one in the MTV reality show "If you really knew me." It was incredibly. I was astounded. It scared me and made me nervous to become so vulnerable in front of all of my peers and friends but in the end it brought us all closer together. I see now more than ever that I am NOT alone. There are many many people out there struggling with the same exact things as I am. Even if their struggles are different than mine, it is something that I had no idea of before today. God is moving at Belmont University and around the world and I cannot wait to see the rest of this week, month, year unfold!

Praise the Lord for His unfailing love.

so here i am.

all moved in.

its kinda surreal. like when did i leave? has summer already passed? i'm a SOPHOMORE? woah.

campus is slow because only certain groups have moved in. I start training tomorrow and i'm a little nervous. but i know that its all gonna be so great. God has a perfect plan even if it doesnt seem perfect at first :) I'm so excited about this year. I know i know, i've already said that so many other times but its so true! While i'm so excited, i'm really sad too....I already miss my family and its only DAY 1. haha i know thats sad, but i love them! well i have to get up earlier than i have all summer to go to training but its going to be awesome! i cant wait to meet new people. yay for orientation! i cant wait to see my incoming freshmen! too bad i have a week of training before that!

cant wait to see what these days hold :)

ezekiel 36:26 " I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

I have searched- i'm talking been on my hands and knees searching-- for this very verse ALL week. do you know where i found it? on someone else's blog, via twitter! God uses everything for His good. This verse speaks to me in all sorts of ways. Its beautiful. it's a promise of a new beginning despite what you have drudged through to get to God. With the truth of this verse, you can shed all of your baggage and burdens, God will take them and make you a BRAND NEW person. How amazing?

With the beginning of the new school year coming up, I have a few goals.

1. Be a good friend to people who arent good friends themselves. Treat others like you want to be treated- i try, but do not often succeed at this.

2. Spread God's word. I want to share His love with others, and i bet i've often turned down the opportunities i've been given. I pray that I won't overlook even the smallest of chances this year.

3. No matter what happens, keep a positive attitude. That is definitely one that I struggle with often. Everything for God's glory, good bad or otherwise

So moving on, I have 2 more days at home before I go back to good ole college where I will be-- GASP-- a sophomore. can you believe it? Time has flown by and I am getting old. I'm waiting patiently for my grey hair and wrinkles. Having only a few days left I am spending much needed time with friends and family. I love them so much and I am so blessed to have each and every one of them in my life. :) I painted with one of my close friends today and was so sad when I had to leave her :( i'm going to miss her this fall! Its so sad to leave people behind but I have so many things to look forward to. I cannot wait to see God's plan unfold for this year! Yesterday was my last day as a volunteer at Children's Hospital. I have absolutely adored spending time there. Those kids are precious to me and will always hold a piece of my heart. God has definitely confirmed that I am supposed to be working with terminally ill children. One little boy gave me the sweetest picture. I cannot wait to work somewhere like that full time. It definitely gave me a glimpse of the future and something to look forward to. A childs smile is the best gift in the world.

Love yall! I cant wait to move on Sunday!!

5days5days5days!!!

I cannot believe that move in day is 5 days away. i have so much to do, so much to pack, get, clean! ahh! its so overwhelming! i'm insanely stressed. I handled some stuff really badly because of being so stressed out. I let it get to me and instead of giving God my worries and concerns, stress, etc. I failed and let the world get to me. FORGIVE me, Lord, help those i've hurt forgive me. just another reminder that I am nowhere near perfect. Thank God for giving me great friends and family to keep me grounded and keep me in check :)

yesterday at church we talked about Psalm 56. It says that God collects your tears and bottles them. Seriously, God cares enough for me to BOTTLE my TEARS! WOAH. thats amazing. i'm stunned. i'm worthless and a terrible sinner, yet God loves me so much that he collects my tears. He knows whats on my heart and what is hurting me. His wonderful love is astonishing to me. We also talked about Zephaniah 3:17 and the book of Nahum. Well, I haven't ever really paid that much attention to either of those books, but they are great! Zeph. 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

This is awesome. God rejoices over me with singing. Really? me? what? he wants me? thats crazy! I'm so thankful that God wants me. That He loves me so much. Then, the book of Nahum talks about God as a warrior. So not only does He collect my tears & rejoice over me with singing, but He fights for me! He destroyed all evil!

If God is for me, who can be against me? What a wonderful revelation!

So close but not yet

I have a mere 11 days left until i go back to school. it feels like this summer lasted a lifetime, but at the same time flew by! My summer classes are almost over--Thank God. but with that, my volunteering is ending too. I've spent 13 days over the summer and 4-5 hours a day with the wonderful people at childrens hospital. i loved every minute of it no matter how stressful or boring it got at times. I think that is definitely the highlight of my summer. Hopefully i'll be able to volunteer again next summer or even somewhere in nashville once i get back.

Well, sunday i went to church for the first time in a looonnnggg time. you know you just start making those excuses of "i'm too tired," "I didn't read what we're learning about today so i'll be behind," "i just got back from vacation," etc. In reality, i just talk myself out of it and i'm being really lazy. Going this weekend was great. The message really spoke to me and made me regret being so lazy. He talked about how Jesus' stripes redeemed us. He said that the cross was not for our sake alone, it was for God's sake. I am a guilty, ugly, mean sinner, but because God sent his Son to die on the cross for me, I am saved. God hates sin. He HATES it. The Bible talks about His loathing of sin. If i sin, and God hates sin, then God hates me because of my sin. But because Jesus died on the cross, took my sin, and paid for it, God does not see me as a ugly, nasty sinner. He sees me as His precious daughter. How marvelous is this thought? How beautiful is God's mercy?

Thank you Lord for everything you have given me. I definitely could not do anything on my own. Through YOU i can do all things.

Love your daughter.