"Love one another"

eh. classes just started back. thats how i feel about it. just another semester, another 4 months of work, classes, tests, and projects. I should be excited right? its spring semester which means summer is closer. I'm about 4 months away from leaving for Nicaragua for 2 weeks. I'm 7 months from my best friends wedding, 3 months from spring break, etc. but I'm not really. I didn't even really want to unpack when I got here. I've never been unhappy being back at school; something about the love here, the people, and the community have always made me rush back in. Not this time. I came back with a lot more on my plate this time though, more than usual. I came back resenting my dreams for pulling me away from family. I resented my goals and aspirations. And after a brief breakdown with my best friend, I realized that I'm not abandoning anyone by following my dreams & goals. I'm not picking one over the other. Simply living, living 4 hours away.

In living, you have to trust. Correction- you dont have to, but man it would be such a miserable life without it. You have to lean on people, and in turn they have to lean on you. Its not only just an innate human quality, like breathing, but a biblical one. 1 John 4:11 and 1 Peter 1:22 are two places that I've found it. Camaraderie and brotherhood are common themes throughout the Bible. Searching for trust this week, I've known that as a Christian I should be trusting God. I should be turning to Him alone, but then I can't see or touch Him so how does that help me feel not alone? Predicament. Well, after reading these verses, I remember (and feel rather stupid) that God gave us friends, family, and people around us to trust, to lean on, and to love us in times of trouble or hardship. Not only that, but they are a demonstration of His love for us and care for us. WOAH. mind blown. You mean I can pray and trust God and in doing so, He will give me people that support and build me up?! YES.

Its like what we've started learning in physiology, about membrane potential. The sodium and potassium ions are responsible for the membrane potential that leads to action potential, which is the action that you actually perform or feel. The membrane potential tells the action potential to "go" tell the neurons to fire. (*super limited knowledge on this so far because its the first week of class but so far this is generally how I understand it) But, without membrane potential there is no action potential response. Without praying to God and trusting in God, no "action potential" would occur. Nothing would change. But the "action potential" can be carried out by whoever He has placed in your life.

Who is your support? your "action potential"? Do you hold them up as much as they do you?

plans

My last post was about being wrecked & broken, so it seems only fitting that this post is about healing & restoration.

Some things have been going on in my family that few people know all about. This stuff has hurt me, scared me, left me worried, & my mind spinning. All of it sort of had to do with the one part of life that every human loves most- plans, control, etc. We like to have a plan, a strategy of some sort. Even the most UNorganized and spur of the moment people have some semblance of an idea where they want to go with life.

What if I told you that "plans" were what get us into trouble? Someone once said that a good way to make God laugh is to make plans. Well, recently my family experienced this all too close to home. We had planned to go on a family vacation, a rare thing for all of us to get to attend since we're scattered across the states. When the plans fell through we could either be upset about it or make the best of it. So we made the best off it. We got to know each other in a deeper way. We discovered strengths we each possess & made our family stronger as a whole. One night we talked about our individual life goals for the next 10 years; I learned a lot that night.

I think there is healing in knowing and learning that there is a plan in place that's not yours and that will always turn out for the best.

I thought I would share my ideal plan for my next 10 years and where I want to be, but this in no way is saying that this is where I will be.

1. I want to go to med school.

2. I want to meet people all over the world by going there and serving.

3. I want to be a doctor.

4. I want to skydive.

5. I want to write a book.

6. I want to get married.

7. I want to adopt.

8. I want a to live on a farm with horses & pigs.